It’s Cool For Tykes

by Jem Tovey

The girls fall out of Legends,
With their skirts up to their necks.
The lads are busy scrapping
In their two-tone, tonic keks.

Dibble’s cruising Bradford Road,
But there’s no need to hurry,
Lalas shuts at 1am,
Let’s have a mucky curry.

Batley Varieties in the past
Hosted Shirley Bassey,
But that became the Frontier,
Which as nowhere near as classy.
But Igor at Zucchinis says it’s
Very cool for Tykes – it’s cool for tykes.

We’ve got a lot of choice
If retail therapy you like,
Get thissen to Padgetts
If you want a motorbike

If it’s carpets that you fancy,
You’ll be better of at Mikes.
Mountain Warehouse have the gear
To keep you dry on hikes,
But you’ll have to get to Birstall
If you need a pair of Nikes,
It’s cool for tykes.

That smoothie Robert Palmer
Was a Batley lad,
Although the rock & roll lifestyle,
Made him slightly mad.

I’m not keen on his music,
But the videos I like,
Addicted to Love’s well sexy,
It’s cool to be a tyke.

We’ve got Foxes biscuits
If confectionery you desire
And a mini New York flat iron
If you need a barless fire.

Redbrick Mill is classy,
With all the top designers
And we’ve a massive Tescos,
No supermarket’s finer.

The offies sell you Scrumpy Jack
Even if you are a minor,
Then hang around on Wilton Park
With your mates on mountain bikes,
It’s cool for tykes

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